Feelin’ Fruity

Does fruit make you gassy? Asking for a friend. Maybe it was the gas station fried chicken. Hmm.

Let’s backtrack a little here. I started my morning on the road towards Homestead, FL. It was raining, and visibility wasn’t great. It started to clear up, but I played it safe and stopped at Goodwill to wait it out.

Next stop, the mysterious Coral Castle, built by one man (and maybe some aliens), completed in 1951. I paid $20 admission, even though the original 10 cent admission sign is posted right outside the door. Inflation, amirite?

One man – 100 pound, five-foot tall Ed Leedskalnin, built the castle as a monument to his fiancée who jilted him on their wedding day. What a chumpette. It’s also the true story behind Billy Idol’s “Sweet Sixteen”, so it’s got that going for it.

Honestly, this place was incredible. It was built secretly, and not even the extremely knowledgeable tour guides know how he moved the huge stones, or carved the rounded edges so smoothly. They do know the secret of the gate (it involves Model T parts and a Coca Cola bottle. Good thing I save everything!)

I feel like I could have spent a day looking around here at all of the details and symbolism. The tour was smartly done as well – circular, so you join when you get there, and then stop when you get back to where you started.

Strangely, this was the only piece that seemed to be labelled; “Ed’s Cooker”, which fits a dozen hot dogs. (Need one of these, dad?)

• 

• 

A short four miles away, I found a mecca for fruit lovers!

This place is probably better suited for a summer visit, when more things are in season. I still got a chance to try many things, including sapodilla, cas, starfruit, and the cutest lil’ bananas.

Speaking of eating. In the main entrance, the woman taking admissions was all “hey, you can eat anything you find on the ground!” Alright! Free stuff! I asked when the tours started, and had about an hour to kill before the guided tour. I walked around and found a couple things to try.

Get on the tour tram, and the tour guide says “hey, about a third of the things here are inedible, and some of them are poisonous to the point of being fatal!” So that was fun.

Good thing I’d only tried a guava and a sapodilla. And that marks another day where I avoided death by fruit.

• 

• 

• 

I was smart about one thing. I found one of these spiky things on the ground, and it was cracked open to show the seeds inside. It looked suspicious, and I left it – but on the tour, our guide (Andrew, he was amazing) grabbed one to show us. Turns out it’s commonly used for cosmetic colouring and food dye. It’s edible, but has no taste. It made a decent lipstick and war paint.

• 

• 

• 

I also smelled leaves that Old Spice deodorant is made from, and ate leaves that Old Spice deodorant is not made from. The leaves in the below photo are neither of these.

Andrew mentioned Robert Is Here a few times, and how great their fruit milkshakes are. Lucky for me, it was my next stop!

I spent about $20 on a milkshake and two fruits. But I mean, how can you not try something with this claim:

Out back, there were critters and something that made me think of the weirdest little nativity-esque scene. Tortoises, goats, roosters, and more, all eating out of the same trough.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

Inside I sampled a variety of honey, remembered I can’t bring liquids on the plane on my way home, and settled for a mango, some guanabana, and a milkshake.

Then it was off to my hotel for the night, then out for a thrift store run. I was headed out to grab a bite to eat and almost ended up on the turnpike due to a poorly marked turning lane, so I settled for gas station fried chicken. It wasn’t half bad. And the toots have subsided somewhat. Good thing I’ve got two beds – one for eatin’ and tootin’, and one for sleepin’. Goodnight all!

Today’s Interesting Yummies:

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

P.S.: I always knew I was a coconut.