A Crumby Adventure

Tires on the pavement, static on the radio, and a three and a half hour drive lay before me.

But first I learned… how you say… “cup”.

The fellow at the Econolodge front desk looked befuddled when I told him I had two beds in my room but only one blanket, but then, this is a place where they label the cups so you know what they are.

There was a lovely couple at breakfast, and they were properly using cups so I figured they must be okay. We chatted about road trips, tourism, Atlas Obscura, and a number of things, before I said “well, maybe see you in Canada someday!” and we parted ways. Wouldn’t that be something.

Three hours later, I pulled into Meadows on the Green and was promptly whisked away for an afternoon of thrift shopping and returning my rental car. Note to self: remember to fill the gas tank before returning the car next time, dummy.

Back from a lucrative afternoon of thrifting a pencil cup, I sat on the balcony and finished reading a short story I started before leaving Thunder Bay. What can I say, reading wasn’t on my road trip priority list when every network was playing 90’s movies and cartoon marathons in the evenings.

A delicious dinner followed, hitting the spot with a little bit of everything after a whole lot of chocolate chip cookie nibbles and tortilla chips on the road.

Starved for attention and people to talk to during my week on the road, I felt chatty and told everyone about my adventures (but mostly about the woman in a public restroom who didn’t warn me there was no toilet paper and I ended up ripping up a napkin I found in the bottom of my purse, and the woman I saw barfing outside of Goodwill, and the possible thug I rented a room from on AirBnB). We shared stories, laughs, bad jokes, and each other’s company. We heard dogs barking, crickets chirping, and possible gunshots (‘fireworks’, according to Dad). We ate, we drank, and we tried candy from Lofty Pursuits.

It was fun to be gone, but it’s good to be back. And if there’s one way to tell Mary’s in town – just check for a board game on the table. GAME NIGHT!

Radio commercials are weird. This afternoon, I heard the same commercial for hair loss a number of times. The company was called IHRS. Try saying that out loud with a bit of a slur and a heavy southern accent and see if it sounds a little funny to you. It sure sounded funny to me, in my delirious driving state.

There was another commercial that was along the lines of: “Have you been buying cheap raisins? Try this: stuff half your face with a regular raisin, and half your face with a *name brand* raisin.”

I then realized the word was razor, and it was about shaving, not stuffing your face.

Next road trip, the vehicle needs a CD drive or better radio. Goals!

This morning started with stops at three thrift stores, and a couple of small purchases. Hope Thrifts was my first stop – a dingy place with stuff everywhere, and a plethora of red blazers. Next up was a Salvation Army store with an interesting selection of board games. Third stop was Goodwill – hold up – Goodwill with a Hobby Lobby next door? And a Steak n’ Shake in the same lot? Well, I may as well just park it here for awhile.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

Full of food and discounted Christmas goods from Hobby Lobby (about $3 for a cute sign, broken nutcracker, two broken ceramic trees, and a place card holder – but don’t worry, I have plans for them for a Crumbs Christmas display!) it was time to get moving.

I landed in St. Augustine with only one stop planned, but quickly realized I could spend a lot of time there. Had I known I would have moved faster at the thrift stores this morning! The town reminded me of a cross between Wisconsin Dells and a less sleazy Vegas. A very walkable downtown with a ton of shops and businesses, and a ton of adorable B&Bs.

• 

• 

• 

Yarrr! Land ho! That’s my stop.

This place was well reviewed on Atlas Obscura, but when I told the parking lot attendant where I was headed, his review was “eh, it’s okay.” I went in with mixed expectations. It was extremely dark, with no flash photography permitted, but it was a fun place to kill an hour or so.

I fired a cannon (by holding a magnetic stick to a trigger), heard an audio show about Blackbeard’s treasure, and did a scavenger hunt in return for my very own pirate treasure!

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

I think the coolest part of the museum was one of two surviving original Jolly Roger flags from 1850.

Oh, and that scavenger hunt I mentioned? The guide told me if I completed it, I would earn a piece of pirate’s treasure. The hunt consisted of finding drawers and cupboards with the Jolly Roger skull and crossbones on them, and listing the items inside. I knew it was meant for kids, but it was a fun, immersive way to explore the museum. Though I couldn’t have prepared myself for this, uh, astounding treasure.

• 

• 

Treasure in hand, I meandered around St. Augustine in the dusk. It’s a place that would be worth discovering in the daytime, with more time to spend. As it was, I walked down the main streets, and stopped into only three or four shops.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

Back at the parking lot, I hid another rock before trying to find a hotel for the night. My travel wifi went out earlier today, and so I attempted a few places I had coupons for, which were completely booked up (at least according to the folks at the desk when I showed them the coupon).

A crummy Econolodge about a half hour away was the answer. It’s where I’m now sitting, watching cartoons and trying not to touch the floor with bare feet.

Tomorrow it’s back to Boynton Beach to spend my last couple of days in Florida with the folks and my aunt and uncle who are visiting. I’m looking forward to being back, it’s been a long few days of driving.

On the other hand, I’m not looking forward to getting back to the snow in Thunder Bay. At least I have nothing immediately planned, so I can cozy up with a cup of tea and dream of warmer days!

Today I am $5 richer after offering one of my AirBnB mates a free ride to her grad school interview after five Lyft drivers in a row cancelled on her. We speculated that perhaps we had spent the night in Skeazeville. It seemed likely. In any case, it was a short drive to the interview, and I was happy to see the area in the daylight. She gave me $5, and I wished her luck.

The strange thing with AirBnBs – I will likely never know how Leslie’s interview went, or if the other woman (Annie, I think) gets a gun, gets her kids back, or is killed by her ex.

Like I said, I knew too much about this woman already.

Ahem. I put my $5 (+$5 of my own) to good use after the three-hour drive up to Pasaquan in Buena Vista, Georgia.

Eddie Owens Martin (1908 – 1986) had a vision from the future wherein three beings appeared to him and named him St. EOM, and dubbed him a Pasaquoyan. He started building Pasaquan – the religion and the place –  in the 1950’s, and if I remember correctly, started painting about a decade later.

It’s hard to explain the feeling of seeing Pasaquan for the first time. If you stayed on the main roads, you’d have no idea it was even there. There is no signage, and the road named after Eddie Martin is off a nondescript side road off the highway.

After a road closure, I was sure I was in the wrong spot. Trees lined both sides of the empty road I was on. Suddenly a small vibrant sign appeared, and I pulled in. Seeing all of this colour emerge from an otherwise natural landscape was almost surreal.

I had the place to myself for over an hour, during which I played a game I like to call “The Pasaquan Face Game”. Only one other guest came while I was there, so I enjoyed the peace and quiet.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

It’s hard to capture this place in photos (especially with the cool dreary weather) but here’s a sampling:

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

This guy looked sad, so I left him a cupcake.

• 

• 

Other than that, today was mostly spent driving. I popped over to downtown Buena Vista before leaving, but given the lack of foot traffic and the majority of the buildings being businesses, I grabbed lunch and hit the road.

I’m now settled in at the Super 8 in Valdosta. I was hoping to get out and do something this evening, but Cats is no longer playing at the movies here, and I figured sitting here watching a Simpsons marathon and playing tiny Ms. Pac Man (smart purchase of the day) was the next best thing.

I am getting peckish, but my lack of motivation will likely keep me here for the night.* Tomorrow I have no solid plan except working my way back south. Depending on what interesting stops I find along the way, I may be back in Boynton Beach earlier than expected. I’m sure I’ll at least find some thrift stores along the way, and we’ll see where the day takes me!

*I ended up making a snack run while my photos downloaded, and broke my sunglasses in the process. Ho hum.

“Space is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is.”

Douglas Adams’ words from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy came to mind as I was wandering the aisles of the vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big Barberville Yard Art Emporium.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

This little guy made me laugh.

I thought about taking him home. I rounded a corner and saw him again and I laughed again. He came home.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

What a wondrously strange, but mostly expensive place.

In a way, this place had so much variety, and in another way, there was a lot of the same. Endless rows and piles of plant pots. Lizards and frogs and mermaids. There were so many of them, but most were painted in different manners, or somehow unique.

I took a moment to debate whether I needed to spend too much money on a chair that I wouldn’t be able to bring on the plane.

I spent so much time wandering around here, I missed my second stop; a bakery which was only open until early afternoon, and my arrival time would have been five minutes late. I consoled myself by pulling in here off the highway:

The store was small; not much bigger than the billboard I had seen advertising it. Their whoopie pies landed them on a show called “How To Do Florida”, and so I figured they must be something special. Spoiler alert: They were okay.

I stopped at a grocery store and bought veggies and water to make myself feel less gross about eating a whoopie pie before putting any real food in my body, and continued on my way. My next stop was one I’ve been wanting to make for a few years now.

Lofty Pursuits, “in Tallahassee Florida, just off the I-95”, as their YouTube videos say. I follow their channel and have spent many hours watching Greg, the owner, and his team make candy with their vintage equipment.

Unfortunately, Greg was out of town at a convention, and I’d missed the day’s candy making. But, that meant the store was quiet, and the staff had plenty of time to deal with my silly requests and answer my questions. I took my time moseying around – after all, according to their website, “Not everything in life should be rushed, but everything should make you happy.” I treated myself to an egg cream (the store’s signature drink at the ice cream/soda counter) and a few bags of candy to bring home. (Oh, and I hid a rock).

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

I had messaged the Lofty Pursuits Facebook page yesterday, asking if Greg would be in this afternoon for a selfie opportunity. He responded directly, apologizing that he would not be in, but that he left me a signed postcard. How sweet! (Pun intended).

Once I’d purchased my sugar fix (and a t-shirt, of course!) I drove downtown, but parking was bananas and I had no idea where anything was, so I just took in the sights from the car.

I needed somewhere to sit and get online to book a place for the night. What better excuse to find a nearby thrift store? I definitely picked the right one, because they had two adorable shop cats, one of whom made himself quite comfortable in my lap when I squatted down to look at a bottom shelf.

• 

• 

I am now comfortably in my AirBnB room with paper thin walls, next door to a woman whom I already know way too much about. I think tomorrow night I’ll be looking for a place to myself.

Today, I – frugal, sensible, chocoholic Mary Davis – spent $10 on two cookies. But first, I spent $3 on lunch from a McDonald’s inside a gas station (weird), where they had an old school arcade cabinet that actually took quarters! Naturally, I stopped for a game of Ms. Pac Man.

Traffic was better today; quieter highways and not so much roundy round. That said, I still did a little exploring and wound up at Hobby Lobby, since crafters never take a vacation.

After my impromptu stop, it was a race against the clock to hit three bakeries in an hour, before the third one closed. Thankfully, none of the shops were busy and the cashiers weren’t especially chatty (except the last one, who was exceptionally nice!) and I made it with minutes to spare.

First up was this cute little place:

Seriously adorable! I missed a photo of the corner with two cushy powder blue chairs and a little table. I adore the wall of bluebirds, though!

Happily, my next stop was right across the street. On their website, Gideon’s Bakeshop says that the shop was born when the founder bought what they thought was an old family cookbook at a yard sale. Turned out it was the journal of a young man named Gideon, with his plans to start a bakery to bring his family out of poverty in the late 1800’s. They’ve combined his recipes with modern techniques and ingredients, and really made something special.

• 

• 

• 

A short drive away was Buttermilk Bakery, and I made it with ten minutes left before closing. That said, there were still people ordering after me, and the cashier was ridiculously pleasant, so I doubt they were too concerned. The interior was sparse, not much to look at, but the baking all looked delish.

Once I’d stocked up on sugar for the next few days, it was off to Big Tree Park, where The Senator, a 3,500 year old tree once stood. “Once stood,” you say? Well, in 2012 a woman and her friend were having a smoke and accidentally started a fire which burned it down. A tree older than Jesus. Poof.

Much like the tree disappeared, so did my access route. Construction blocking the entrance road prevented me from getting to the park – but you know what, if that’s the only setback I had today, it’s a sight better than yesterday’s adventure.

Besides, I saw a thrift shop a few miles back.

After an unsuccessful thrift trip, it was time to go look at expensive folk art in historic downtown Sanford!

I was primarily interested in the exterior of the studio/gallery/store: a Memory Wall created by Mr. Imagination, using items contributed by the folks of Sanford. The variety of memories and “stuff” in this wall is incredible. I wish I’d taken more time to really look at it all!

The art inside the store was impressive, with multiple studios for artists in residence. Y’all know me and my love for retro, colourful stuff, and after seeing all of the artists’ work, could probably guess that the work of Mark Seppala was my fave. The fact that it was mostly Beatles and Disney would probably tip you off too.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

Downtown Sanford was exactly what I needed this evening. I wandered the neighbourhood briefly before it got too dark, and it was so calm and peaceful, a nice contrast to yesterday.

I popped into a very full antique store and chatted with the woman there, who offered me a sample of her toe jam. Wait, what? Oh, that’s just a funny name for one of the yummy products they carry. Fun.

Weirdest things I found here: a framed McNuggets ad, and this odd religious album, which I did not buy:

I also passed another antique store, which was closed, but it had a fabulous name.

With that, it was time to book a hotel, and revel in my treasure. Firstly, I did not eat all of this in one sitting – much of it is safely stowed for the coming days! We’ll see how that goes. I did, however, have to sample for research purposes. As Olivia Newton John would say, “let’s get critical, critical…”

S’more Cupcake and Lemon Cupcake from Blue Bird Bakery:
S’more cupcake is good, but the frosting is too sweet.
Lemon cupcake is delish, but has too much frosting, though it is a nice tangy lemon buttercream.

Chocolate Chip cookie and Pistachio Toffee Dark Chocolate cookie from Gideon’s Bakeshop:
Okay, there’s a reason these have won awards ranging from Best Cookie in Florida to Best Cookie in the World. These cookies are highly deeeeelicious.

Blueberry Muffin from Buttermilk Bakery:
Saving this for breakfast!

Side note: My room has a kitchenette, and I was incredibly tempted to bake something, until I realized there is no oven, and looked at the above photo again.

I suppose it can wait!

Q: Is there anything worse than having to pee while you’re driving on the highway?

A: Yes. Having to pee while driving, ending up waiting for a drawbridge, getting stuck in a traffic jam, waiting for another drawbridge, and then missing the entrance to the only convenience store you’ve seen in miles.

What a day.

It started with conveyor belt pancakes at the Super 8 (what happened to Supers 1 -7?) Anyone else had these conveyorcakes? Fascinating little thing. A metal box with a window to watch your pancakes cook, because there is no better entertainment at the Super 8.

• 

• 

• 

Yesterday I stole some rocks from the parking lot at Robert Is Here and painted one to hide. It’s not waterproofed, so hopefully no one finds a soggy cupcake.

My two hour drive turned longer partly because I stopped at thrift stores, and partly because my sense of direction (or the GPS) sucks. Seven hours later, I arrived at my destination.

And promptly found out you need to pre-book tours.

So I took a few pictures anyway, and was told to pre-book and come back another time if I wanted to do the tour. It traces the history of candy, from cavemen discovering honey to the modern day. Gotta be honest, I was primarily interested because I hear they’ve got one of the original Wonka Golden Tickets and an EVERLASTING GOBSTOPPER! (Well, it’s lasted since 1971 so far).

• 

• 

Not sure if I’ll make it back on this trip, but it’s not far from the folks’ condo, so there’s always an opportunity next time I’m down.

Speaking of the folks…

Since I was a half hour away and really, incredibly frustrated by this point, I crashed their “AirBnB” for the night. On the road again tomorrow. Fingers crossed for a better day!

Today’s Yummies: (Photos N/A)
– Gas station roller hot dog
– Little Debbie cupcake
– Crunchy veggies to combat road angst
Sounds like a road trip to me.

Things that seemed photo-worthy at the time:

• 

• 

• 

Does fruit make you gassy? Asking for a friend. Maybe it was the gas station fried chicken. Hmm.

Let’s backtrack a little here. I started my morning on the road towards Homestead, FL. It was raining, and visibility wasn’t great. It started to clear up, but I played it safe and stopped at Goodwill to wait it out.

Next stop, the mysterious Coral Castle, built by one man (and maybe some aliens), completed in 1951. I paid $20 admission, even though the original 10 cent admission sign is posted right outside the door. Inflation, amirite?

One man – 100 pound, five-foot tall Ed Leedskalnin, built the castle as a monument to his fiancée who jilted him on their wedding day. What a chumpette. It’s also the true story behind Billy Idol’s “Sweet Sixteen”, so it’s got that going for it.

Honestly, this place was incredible. It was built secretly, and not even the extremely knowledgeable tour guides know how he moved the huge stones, or carved the rounded edges so smoothly. They do know the secret of the gate (it involves Model T parts and a Coca Cola bottle. Good thing I save everything!)

I feel like I could have spent a day looking around here at all of the details and symbolism. The tour was smartly done as well – circular, so you join when you get there, and then stop when you get back to where you started.

Strangely, this was the only piece that seemed to be labelled; “Ed’s Cooker”, which fits a dozen hot dogs. (Need one of these, dad?)

• 

• 

A short four miles away, I found a mecca for fruit lovers!

This place is probably better suited for a summer visit, when more things are in season. I still got a chance to try many things, including sapodilla, cas, starfruit, and the cutest lil’ bananas.

Speaking of eating. In the main entrance, the woman taking admissions was all “hey, you can eat anything you find on the ground!” Alright! Free stuff! I asked when the tours started, and had about an hour to kill before the guided tour. I walked around and found a couple things to try.

Get on the tour tram, and the tour guide says “hey, about a third of the things here are inedible, and some of them are poisonous to the point of being fatal!” So that was fun.

Good thing I’d only tried a guava and a sapodilla. And that marks another day where I avoided death by fruit.

• 

• 

• 

I was smart about one thing. I found one of these spiky things on the ground, and it was cracked open to show the seeds inside. It looked suspicious, and I left it – but on the tour, our guide (Andrew, he was amazing) grabbed one to show us. Turns out it’s commonly used for cosmetic colouring and food dye. It’s edible, but has no taste. It made a decent lipstick and war paint.

• 

• 

• 

I also smelled leaves that Old Spice deodorant is made from, and ate leaves that Old Spice deodorant is not made from. The leaves in the below photo are neither of these.

Andrew mentioned Robert Is Here a few times, and how great their fruit milkshakes are. Lucky for me, it was my next stop!

I spent about $20 on a milkshake and two fruits. But I mean, how can you not try something with this claim:

Out back, there were critters and something that made me think of the weirdest little nativity-esque scene. Tortoises, goats, roosters, and more, all eating out of the same trough.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

Inside I sampled a variety of honey, remembered I can’t bring liquids on the plane on my way home, and settled for a mango, some guanabana, and a milkshake.

Then it was off to my hotel for the night, then out for a thrift store run. I was headed out to grab a bite to eat and almost ended up on the turnpike due to a poorly marked turning lane, so I settled for gas station fried chicken. It wasn’t half bad. And the toots have subsided somewhat. Good thing I’ve got two beds – one for eatin’ and tootin’, and one for sleepin’. Goodnight all!

Today’s Interesting Yummies:

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

P.S.: I always knew I was a coconut.

I’m here tracking my week-long solo trip in Florida/Georgia. Follow along as I visit fun stuff and eat yummy things.